5 请老师帮忙修改作文

老师,能否帮我看一下这篇作文用词、语法是否有错误,或是怎样写语言表达会更好,请老师帮忙修改一下,谢谢了。

Hi Linda,

     How is everything going? I heard from a friend that you were admitted to the college of your first choice.I'm really happy and proud of you.

     I know you've always had a college dream, and you've been working hard for it. When you were in middle school, you got up early and then stayed up late studying, so getting into your dream college is the result of your efforts. I hope you can live a full and meaningful college life. I also hope that you can gain knowledge and constantly improve yourself in the university. I believe you would be better in four years.At last, I hope we can get together again and share our college life with each other.

Best 

Steve

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最佳答案 2021-11-07 20:49

I heard from a friend that you were ~这一句中,语法错误在于,that引导的名词性从句不对,你当作hear from sb sth来写的,然而这个用法并不存在。可改为I received a letter from a friend / some friend , knowing that you ~/ in which I got ~.

2.really happy可改为overjoyed,欣喜若狂的。

3.and then, 语意有些重复,可只用and

4. so getting into your dream college is the result of your efforts,这句话中式英语意思比较重,可改为which made the result rather reasonable.

5.get together改为gather together.

其他结构及用语,亦有不到之处,才疏学浅,望采纳。

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  • Amily 提出于 2021-11-04 23:25