作文写作批改(部分文章)

Undoubtedly, the cartoon intends to convey this theme: a life as a process of running, he or she should make progress continually, never stopping taking steps. Because rhythm of life becomes faster and every industry competes more dramatically, encouraged he or she pursues higher goals. Should one stop striving continually, each of them would be hard to maintain success or even to survive in this competitive world. It is Deng Xiaoping that remarked "development is the absolute theory", who is a well-known leader. No matter how strong an organization is, it must seek new and rapid development. Consequently, both a country and a person should never halt.

 

There is a case relevant to us students. If we get through the graduate students entrance examination successfully, the following issue is to complete the curriculum of the higher institute. We must continue to struggle for our future college studies and careers.

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最佳答案 2021-04-16 23:54

同学你好,很高兴能为你解答。首先你的作文写得是很不错的,我很喜欢。但其中有以下问题,希望你能注意一下。

首先,Because rhythm of life becomes faster and every industry competes more dramatically, encouraged he or she pursues higher goals

这句话中存在一点小瑕疵,但不影响整体。这里的原因状从用的很不错,但是要注意主句的主语不能丢失,这里可以用一个it来充当主句的主语。其次呢,这句话里有一个搭配要注意,鼓励某人做某事的说法是 encourage sb. to do sth. 这个to是不可以省略的,并且后面的动词是动词不定式的形式,不是单三式,改后的句子是: Because rhythm of life becomes faster and every industry competes more dramatically, it could encourage he or she to pursue high goals. 这里用情态动词加动词原形表示委婉的语气及可能性,可能比原句更好一点。

 

之后我们来下面这句话,Should one stop striving continually, each of them would be hard to maintain success or even to survive in this competitive world.

能感觉到这里你想用一个虚拟语气,但是一定要注意用法,不要因为用错高级句式而丢分,这样就得不偿失了。前面的倒装用的很完美,但是主句要用 would have do的形式不能用错呀,改后的句子是: Should one stop striving continually, it would have been hard for them to maintain success or even to survive in this competitive world.

 

最后,这句话也可是适当的升华一下。We must continue to struggle for our future college studies and careers.

这句话完全可以这样讲,但是由于前面一句你已经用过continue了,这里最好避免再次使用,不然在结尾频繁出现相同的词容易限制阅卷老师给分。这里可以使用keep on来代替continue,改成We’d better keep on struggling for our future college studies and careers.

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  • 英语小学徒 提出于 2021-04-13 18:19

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